So....

Cold Cold MIL.

I have this friend J who was visiting from abroad. It so happened that I brought her to Fiance's house. I think it was proper of me to introduce J to my future in laws (at that time they were still BF's parents) as I found them seated on the sofa of one of the rooms of the house - I went to them to give them a respectful kiss on the cheek. As I leaned forward - they did not even lean towards me (so that I won't need to lean all the way) I was the one who noticed it - but then brushed it off. When J saw it - she found it kind of off. She then told me while we were in the car (Fiance was not there yet) I remember what she told me she said '(My name), when you get married - can you not live with your in-laws?' I asked why - then she told me that she found it odd that the parents did not lean forward when I kissed them. Okay - so it wasn't just me that noticed! Hahaha..

So last night - at dinner time there were weird moments:

1) When we were discussing the date and time of wedding, she told us NOT to follow the time anymore! I told her that the friend who helped us get a date told us that why did he even bother to get us a date when we won't follow it anyways.

2) I have been trying NOT to eat pork and beef for the past months - she gave me a hard time when she learned I did not eat rice. So now - when she learned that I was abstaining from pork and beef she uttered 'Eh last year ka pa nagdadiet eh!' with her knowing look (that was like saying - eh hindi ka naman pumapayat!)

3) During bye bye time - when I leaned over to kiss her - she did not budge. Her facial expression was blank and seemed (to me) like she was unhappy (it might be that I am just paranoid. To be perfectly honest, future MIL is not one of those happy faces you see- she won't smile at you immediately - but would wonder first - unlike me! As I smile to everyone who catches my eye.)

Now, my friend K has reminded me countless of times that I am NOT marrying future MIL but Fiance. I should always keep that in mind. But I get affected with these things, I mean I value family - and if one does not like me - well, I'm going to have a hard time becoming comfortable.

Acceptance - I need to feel that from her. I am actually hungry for it. And I don't know why?!

XOXO
Miss B.

Conversations with MIL 2

I never thought that preparing for the wedding entails so many details! I assumed that you'd only need to book the Church and the venue - and that's it! I was wrong, I was dead wrong! There are so many things to consider! Yikes!!
Since I'm Chinese - there are certain traditions that I need to follow. For one, I'd have to decide if I need to have a ting-hun (aka formal engagement) - my partner is not too keen on that, I on the otherhand - would like to do away with the ceremonies but would like to push through with the exchange of gifts. I'd like to make it as simple as possible.

But last night - when finally we announce that we'd do away with the ceremonies - future MIL interjected that: 1) My 4 sets of gifts will be given after the wedding - honestly, this sounded quite odd for me. I mean why tell me personally that the gifts will be given me after the wedding?! 2) She asked me if I'm already okay with just the 4 gifts - why the effing is she asking me about these things? I am in no position to answer! My point is - you give me whatever it is that you want, DO NOT ASK me that you need to give! You have friends you can consult with! 3) Since my family will be giving my fiance a watch - she asked if she needed to give me a watch too?! Effing gosh - what the hell?! what the effing hell!!

I was really offended that she asked me. I really am. It seems like every time she opens her mouth to discuss with me certain things - I get stressed, literally stressed out! More and more I discover that she's not what I thought she was. Honestly, I'm having low opinions of her - it's deteriorating. I swear!!

XOXO
Miss B.

Conversations with MIL 1

Last night, I felt so bad. I felt like I was cornered! I think I literally was. I never thought I'd feel this way but I did.

The scenario: Fiance and I were in his room - MIL enters.

future MIL: May ting-hun pa ba kayo? (Are you going to have a formal engagement?) Kasi alam ko ayaw na ni Fiance.

Me: I want it to be really simple, wala ng ceremonies

future MIL: Kasi alam ko ayaw ni Fiance, pero ako - anything goes!

Fiance: I don't like a ting-hun

Me: Ayaw ko lang yung ceremonies like walking backwards and punta pa sa bahay.

future MIL: So that means walang ting-hun! Kasi wala ng punta punta sa bahay pa..

Me: I don't know..

MIL: Hindi, wala ng tinghun kasi sabi mo wala ng punta sa house eh..

I fell silent and I think my expression dropped. Literally. I felt like I was being pressured to agree on their decision. I hate what I felt.

future MIL left the room. I think Fiance saw me - I knew I looked stressed. It was really nice though, because he sat beside me and said 'Whatever you want, we'll do it' then kissed my forehead.

At least he was nice enough to respect what I wanted.

XOXO
Miss B.